Sunday blues

Trying to enjoy a Sunday with my family, before the week begins, again, I'm in a funk, mood, if you will. I try and push worry away, I have tomorrow alone to deal with that. Why waste time worrying? I am trying not to clean house, or even cook as to enjoy US today. Beer is iced down, laundry and homework being done, something to grill later. Money isn't great, but today we're just fine and have everything we need. Gas in the car, roof over our heads, food, and other wants... not just needs. So why the blue? I don't want to craft, as I can do that in alone time. I have watered my lovely plants, and don't want to clean the yard, but just relax. Why do I find that so hard? Tomorrow we go back to the grind. Today, with us 3 together, is just to enjoy. I need to kick the funk and enjoy it!! and each other. Let the stresses melt away, cares and worry for tomorrow or another day... just enjoy today ❤️ Find your happy. Make your happy. each and every single day! :)

Flowers

Friends

It has been quite awhile. Lots of things have changed. Our daughter is 'grown', 15 now and a Sophmore in high school. I am a stay at home wife and mom and living the dream.

So why to I struggle with friends? 

I have made a few great friends over the years, mostly thru work. I suppose over the years of separation, we communicate now via social media and messaging, now and again, rather than face to face. They are not in close proximity. There is that handful of great women in my life I truely miss. 

Now that I don't work, I have lots of 'friends', rather more acquaintances, thru my husband's work. I find this is tough, because of the 1 thing we have in common is my husband. I joking tell him he is the reason I have not any friends. First off, he is amazing and sets the bar high. He is truely my best friend. Secondly, he is so amazing I find friends become jealous at times of our relationship and family dynamics. 👪  I wouldn't change that for the world. Third, the older I get, the less b.s. I am willing to out up with. When drama happens, I tend to close that door, quickly. I don't have a whole lot of give (a shit) left.

So know, what do I do about this dilemma? 

I suppose I could lower my standards. I could get used to people having hidden agendas and being my friend to obtain their goals at work with my husband. I could meet people outside of his work, whom I have nothing work related in common with (boring). Where is my outlet?

Is it truely an issue to not have good female friends? Maybe it's perfectly fine for it to just be us, and I should be happy and content with just us 2. 😊  Sometimes though, especially when he's gone, I feel lonely. 

I'd like someone other than my other half (or our daughter) to confide in. Other than family, I mean. My person, non related to the fire department, no hidden agenda, no strings attached (to work), flexible schedule, etc... 

Maybe I should take out an ad. Looking for a dispatcher who works nights, gets off in the morning and wants to have a beer (sometimes coffee lol) at 8am, smokes, cusses, and doesn't have littles to attend to. (We've done our time and don't care to have 'them' around anymore).  

I feel too specific. Maybe I'm not needy, but am wanting. I feel I am low maintenance and high energy. Always happy and positive. (Watch out when I'm quiet!) Does this person exist? 🤔  I did, so I know they're out there. 😆 

Wondering and pondering is all. 

 

Now credit for those FEW friends I do have in my life, aside from Danny, there's only a handful, maybe. one, they know me, and love me just the same. They don't judge me (or we wouldn't be friends), they support me. Women should lift one another up, and encourage one another, not bash or critic each other. Common interest are also key. Plants and gardening, crafting, but mostly, family values are essential to me. A few are fire family, not many have made it. To these women, I am grateful for. 🙏 ❤️ 😊